in between my sobbing fits i managed to pull off this maneuver today.
Emily Blunt is pregnant.
Do you know what this means?
Pictures of John Krasinski holding a baby.
the prophecy has come true.
John Krasinski and Emily Blunt take their eight-month-old daughter Hazel on an outing in New York (October 13th, 2014)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i’m dead
you gotta be careful with girls named katherine because it could be spelled katherine or kathryn or catherine cathryn katherin kcatcheyn ckathcryrn catrchckern kathtrine
He took an Ambien and fell asleep, arm over my side, and as I lay there, wide awake and itchy in my lingerie set, it occurred to me: this was humiliating, unsexy, and, worst sin of all, boring. This wasn’t comfort. This was paralysis. This was distance passing for connection. I was being desexualized in slow motion, becoming a teddy bear with breasts.
I was a working woman. I deserved kisses. I deserved to be treated like a piece of meat but also respected for my intellect. And I could afford a cab home. So I called one, and his sad dog with the Hebrew name watched me hop his fence and pace at the curbside until my taxi came.
Here’s who it’s okay to share a bed with:
Your sister if you’re a girl, your brother if you’re a boy, your mom if you’re a girl, your dad if you’re under twelve or he’s over ninety. Your best friend. A carpenter you picked up at the key-lime-pie stand in Red Hook. A bellhop you met in the business center of a hotel in Colorado. A Spanish model, a puppy, a kitten, one of those domesticated minigoats. A heating pad. An empty bag of pita chips. The love of your life.
Here’s who it’s not okay to share a bed with:
Anyone who makes you feel like you’re invading their space. Anyone who tells you that they “just can’t be alone right now.” Anyone who doesn’t make you feel like sharing a bed is the coziest and most sensual activity they could possibly be undertaking (unless, of course, it is one of the aforementioned relatives; in that case, they should act lovingly but also reserved/slightly annoyed).
Now, look over at the person beside you. Do they meet these criteria? If not, remove them or remove yourself. You’re better off alone.
Excerpt from “Platonic Bed Sharing: A Great Idea (for People Who Hate Themselves)” by Lena Dunham
please do yourself a favor and watch the bradley cooper interview with jimmy fallon
why do pop punk bands think they need like 6 opening bands. why? do you guys travel in packs? more people to chip in to order pizza? are you ALL getting out of this town???
I’m watching the Tonight Show on Hulu and Jimmy Fallon announced that Netflix is going to stream every season of Friends next year and I literally screamed “What!?” aloud, alone in my room.
Why yes, I did just wake up and the first thing I did was search out this scene from Parks and Recreation on Netflix where Andy is marrying April because Chris Pratt’s reaction is absolutely perfect. Carry on.
fuck and run — a mediocre cover of a very important song
Jeanne, here’s the plan:
I somehow get myself to Montana. We make a blanket fort and cuddle and watch Galaxy Quest, The Mothman Prophecies, and Nightwatch (okay maybe not Nightwatch) all while drinking Left Hand Milk Stout and I’ll braid your hair and we can talk about how much boys suck and take about a million selfies with our matching septum piercings and we can reenact the scene from Ghost in the studio and key your boss’s car and we can go on a hike and smoke by a mountain and I’ll take pictures and you can sketch ideas for your show and goddamn it dude, 5 months feels like forever.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek. Then Jonathan Frakes rang me up and said ‘You must not miss this movie! See it on a Saturday night in a full theater.’ And I did, and of course I found it was brilliant. Brilliant. No one laughed louder or longer in the cinema than I did. - Patrick Stewart
If there’s someone in your life who doesn’t like Galaxy Quest, you should maybe question why they’re in your life.